The Fog is Lifting

Well, the experiment to reduce brain drugs failed, and I feel better now that I've resumed them all. I'm fine when I don't work, but the closer it got to the time school started, the worse I felt. My OCD kicked in big time this year, but I'm happy to realize and report that I felt great all the first week of school.

I seriously didn't know how I was going to start this school year with all of the talent drain that I suffered. No more Jared and no more Greg and no more Pi. Except that I still see them sometimes. But not every day and not helping me look good with the newspaper and the yearbook. Although Pi did restructure the ad program and Jared is still helping us do the yearbook for last year.

Anyhoo, about 3 weeks before school started, I entered the fog. It was thick and penetrating this time and I wondered how I'd teach. I had teaching nightmares and anxiety bad. I lost 10 lbs. in two weeks, which is good as I've entered the moderately obese category. So, after I started up the meds again I felt immediately better. Psychosymatic or real, who knows. I gained a little of the weight back, but I'll deal with that later.

I think my new kids will do fine. I think we'll all learn together. I think I can relax. I hope the fog is lifting.

And We're Off. . .

S

Harry Potter Haze

I wish I weren't a muggle.

I want to do magic with a wand that has chosen me. I want to live in a world with ultimate possibilities...where good triumphs over evil.

Is that so much to ask?

I have to face reality tomorrow, after being in a Harry Potter-induced coma for over a week now. I've been sitting, still, but also reading the last two books in the series. I've accomplished a minor goal, and I thoroughly enjoyed the ride. The last journey is great, and I won't spoil it for anyone who still needs to read the book.

But now it's over. I only have around 9 days of summer left, and I'm experiencing anxiety at new levels. Crap. I never learned the programs, and I only work with Jared for 3 more days. I'm screwed in a lightbulb.

Maybe not. I have plans, and dreams, and energy to give. Shit that's vague. Jack sparked something in me this summer at that class at the UI, so I need to channel that and conquer the haze. . .

. . .and make magic happen in that classroom.