Time Out

This blog has been censored.

Big Brother IS watching.

Happier Times Ahead

Well, I've been doing a bit of nostalgic work: I sent in a request to a publisher to print this blog as a non-fiction book. I will hear in 7 days if my brief paragraph caught their attention.

So, I've been cutting and pasting this blog into a word document, and am up to 20 some pages from only 3 months worth of entries. Gonna print out the first draft of my "manuscript" now: how damn exciting is that?

AND, in cutting and pasting, I have been re-reading the origins of this blog and reliving some good times. One thing is for sure: the English job at the alternative school has been posted and I am NOT going for it this year. My shrink said he'd kill me if I went back, and my principal is taking care of me (well, most of the time) and getting me new computers for next year...so I am staying this year and not going.

Happy days are here again? As long as I get that damn book done by July 4th...

WWE Smackdown Game Plan

I'm taking names.

My husband and son are into WWE wrestling, and I am not. But I am taking a page out of their playbook and using some smackdown techniques in yearbook class.

First, we all made "poof books" to keep us organized and motivated. They are little 8-fold booklets you make from construction paper, and kids write both their goals and what they accomplished in them. I am going to grade weekly now in crunch time here at the end of the year, instead of monthly like the newspaper, and the poof books will be the basis of our individual "grade conferences."

Secondly, I am requiring 15 hours of overtime per person between now and the end of the school year. That way I can hold them accountable for doing the work BEFORE summer, where I can affect their grades. This is the most important time of the year: we have about 70 pages in progress and 40 more to go. They write their OT in their poofbooks, and I record it so I can drop their grades at the end of the year.

Thirdly, I am up and off the couch, even though yearbook meets right after lunch. I hope it's before lunch next year, and I hope my brain keeps handling my depression throughout this turbulent time.

I'm putting the smackdown on them, so we'll see if they get with the game plan or rebel.

That's my plan, and I'm sticking to it.

Ding ding ding.

We are Fucked

Well, only two kids showed up after school yesterday -- and they left after an hour. So I sat with no kids for an hour and decided to go home early. Rachel and Connor were going to come in after their golf/track commitments, but I texted them to go home.

We are never gonna get this fucking yearbook done. I'm gonna be there all summer, again.

I hate April and May.

And I hate kids who are not committed to my program. I had the good fortune to do applications and select staff this year because too many signed up for yearbook and newspaper, but I only have 17 kids signed up for next year for yearbook -- my program is not going to grow if I can't get the top caliber kid to sign up. I have the best editor for next year, Alison a.k.a. Kiwi, but her staff is slim pickins.

Oh well, my yearbook rep is going to come talk to me next week and yell at me for running the finances into the ground, and I'm going to give up creative control and agree to do the yearbook all online instead of on inDesign...it's supposed to be easier, and since I don't have the talent -- I'm going for easy.

I gotta have a summer, or I'll be a flipping loon. I think teachers need a month or two off from the constant interaction and pressures of the classroom. I know lots of people say tough shit to teachers and don't feel too sorry for them for having 3 months off -- but MAN once you get into the profession you see how exhausting it can be. I've tried other stuff and nothing compares to teaching in my book as far as wearing your ass out at the end of the day.

I'll end on a good note: Jared is done with school in early May and offered to help. He's bailed my ass out two years in a row, and I'm not above utilizing his talents a third year. I'm sure Rachel will be cool with a little help too -- we need something to save us, because we are truly fucked.

Anticipation

The feeling of dread and doom persists this morning...the overwhelming notion that it's gonna be a long-ass day. It's yearbook deadline night, which means a 12-hour day: this is not as bad as newspaper deadline night; however, which is a 14-hour day. (Wow, did I use a colon AND a semi-colon correctly in that sentence?)

I DON'T WANNA GO... waa waa waa.

It's not that bad once I get there, because I settle in to my routine, and if things get crazy, I can always put myself into a coma on the comfy couch in my room. I don't think too many kids will show up tonight because I failed to promote the event properly. I also don't have any teeth to my policy for overtime for yearbook class: I ask them to show up but don't hold them accountable for it in their grades.

These are the things that fill my tiny brain on this day. Guess it's up to me whether we have fun or not...I am the head mother-effer in charge, that's fer sure. So dig deep, Lisa, and find the energy to make it through the day.

I hate agoraphobia some days.

Proud Moments

I always blog about my kids at school, and rarely talk about my own children.

But I have to tell you how proud I am of my oldest son, Walker. He was in his second play as a freshmen in high school, and he played Johnny Casino in "Grease" today. He had two solos, and he really rocked the Hand Jive solo. I love moments like this.

And I love moments like this:



Them's moments to remember, eh?

April Fools is Overrated (or Fuck Life)

I hate April first. It's not a joking day for me. My nephew, who blew his brains out a few years back, was born on this day. I remember that day like it was yesterday: I was in college in Iowa City and my step-sister delivered him there. I got to hold him when he was 4 hours old...I fell so deeply in love with that baby that it was only replaced with a deeper love once I held my own children.

And the jokes. It's not a joking day in my opinion, and I wish people would stop with the stupid, "School is out early...APRIL FOOLS" routine.

As Rachel, my yearbook editor, said this morning on her gmail status: Fuck Life. Even though I'm in a decent mood now, five days later, I think her status says it all. Some days life is just too damn big. I just saw my shrink for that feeling of melancholy and malaise that hits me every damn Monday and other select PMS days...I wonder why she is bummed though.

My big worries today include: to make the damn pinewood derby car and go to the race tonight or to blow it off and go to a waterpark/hotel....to make it on time to my son's first big solo in the high school production of "Grease"...to not get busted on my favorite role-playing game on Facebook...to check the mountain of papers I brought home this weekend...

Fuck life.

Narcolepsy and the Wii

Had a narcoleptic moment on Monday, the first day back from break...it's taken me a week to get over it, so I think I can blog about it now:

I fell asleep, sound asleep, in yearbook class.

(Pause to let that sink in...)

The certified teacher in the room was snoozing on the couch while the mice played. In between narcoleptic moments, I noticed that the noise level in the room was decent; albeit not focused at all on yearbook. Those kids know each other and have fun in their little groups: they would be happy to blow off the rest of the work until the few who show up in the summer do it.

ACK.

On a lighter note, I had insomnia Friday night/Saturday morning, and had speaks with Andrew D. on gmail...we decided to go on a diet together. A slow diet. So, simultaneously, we had ordered a Wii as a family thing. So, I decided to order a Dance Dance Revolution as my exercise plan. I'm such a geek, hip thing.

Fucking A.

So, eratic weather patterns, eratic sleep patterns, and a Wii are the themes I contemplate today. Tomorrow we come out with our "green" issue, and I'm pretty sure kids will complain it's boring...

And sorry this took me so long today, Rachel baby.

Narcolepsy

Had a narcoleptic moment on Monday, the first day back from break...it's taken me a week to get over it, so I think I can blog about it now:

I fell asleep, sound asleep, in yearbook class.

(Pause to let that sink in...)

Last Day of Spring Break

Waa waa waa. It's almost over. In 24 hours, I'll be back in school. There is NOTHING worse than the last day of Spring Break.

Poor me, the lowly teacher complaining about having a week off, paid.

Ok. I'll suck it up: but I woke up this morning dreaming about the damn yearbook, again. I was filing stuff in my dream that was actually a good idea; I was telling kids what to do and it was stuff that needs to be done; and I was getting the son-of-a-bitch done.

[Aside: I was just looking at the want ads. I always do this on Sunday mornings. I found a great job in Pella, but it pays twelve thousand less than I make now. Sigh.]

Anyway, I woke up and realized the state we're in. We have proofs that aren't done and returned in a timely fashion; we haven't submitted deadline 2 yet; we have missed every deadline night because of weather of my illnesses. In reality, we suck.

SHIT. Now what? Work, work, work till you die. My shrink says this job shouldn't be stressing me out so much. Fuck him.

Well, at least I have an entire week of laziness, gluttony, and creative escape under my belt. I spent the major portion of every day playing around with my computer, playing RPGs on Facebook, recording video messages for my peeps, and making commercials for personal lubricants...all from the comfort of my own office.

Oh well, guess Term 4 will be the great decider. I'm going to up the ante in yearbook and get off my ass some. We are going to work after school and deadline nights twice a month to deal with the crappy computers we have. Have I blogged about my technology woes yet? Waa waa waa.

My head is going 100 miles a minute right now: class sizes too big, budgets too small, newspaper is in crisis, i haven't put away any of my clothes all break, and it's Easter morning.

Mkay. This blog is usually therapeutic, but it seems to be stressing me out even more, so i shall end it now.

CELEBRATE!

This blog is one year and one day old today! It appears I missed the one-year anniversary yesterday.

So to make up for that, here is a vlog:

Exhausted Already

I am on spring break and I have been the epitome of laziness. But I keep thinking about next week and the next few months and I get exhausted.

Just got done talking to Rachel, and that always makes me think yearbook. I think I overstimulated her by asking her to mentor a student for next year...she just got back from photographing a band trip and here I ask her to do more.

Also have been dreaming about yearbook...it haunts me truly. I am going to direct traffic and make kids work and damn anyone who gets in my way. That's how I feel because I so desperately want to get done with this book by July 4th. Independence day. What a nice goal. We are going to have after school meetings and deadline nights two times a month in order to get this sucker done.

We have newspaper deadline night on Tuesday too, so that's in the back of my mind. We have survived so many obstacles, like poor attendance, this year that I am confident we can crank out this "green" issue. I've got to contact the publisher though and reduce the number of copies we get and see if we can get a bargain on some recycled paper.

Plus, my husband is talking about McCain bringing on the end of the world this morning, so there is this ominous tone to the day already.

Uff duh, as my dear departed Grandmother Kunze used to say. Ten a.m. and I'm pooped.

Maybe I need to get outside and get some exercise? Or get off my butt at the very least. OK. At least my butt isn't growing around the toilet seat like that crazy story that broke this week about the woman who camped out on her boyfriend's toilet for 2 years. Ahhh, but I digress.

Moonlighting, again.

I have a confession to make: I am moonlighting at another blog. I started it on St. Patty's day in a fit of inspiration. Follow me on this:

I have a new webcam + I used to be a sexuality educator = http://sex101blog.blogspot.com

So, check it out. We have already posted our first vlog response to the first question.

And if you know a condom or lube sponsor, contact me at mscalvin@gmail.com soon...this is, after all, another get-rich-quick scheme in order to allow me to retire early from that pesky day job.

Just kidding, I love my day job. It's the work that sucks.

Not Working

I am not working. I am playing. I have been playing since Friday night, and it is now Sunday morning. Even though some of my playing involves students, that does not mean it is work. There, I said it. I enjoy playing with my students in my free time. What does that make me? Perverted? Stupid? Too Involved?

For example, last night: Saturday night, the first weekend of Spring Break and what do I find myself doing? A run down:

* Talking on gmail to Greg and Cameron, both editors in chief of the newspaper. Greg was producing a girls' basketball game on the Drake radio station, and Cameron was pining for a girl.

* Making little videos for all my favorite friends on facebook...yes, I said it...I have favorites. They are the kids who do all the work, happily, and who make the yearbook and newspaper a success. They know who they are.

* Having a live Skype video chat with Chas, former yearbook graphics editor and top geek. He had just gotten a camera and was having his virginal chat...it's fun, but WAY different than chatting with people on the phone or on a chat program. They can SEE you. You can't roll your eyes or pick your nose...and there are these poignant pauses...that seem like they last forever in a live video chat.

* Taking care of my husband who was having his third migraine headache in two days...he's in major pain but I am helpless to help him. He just has to ride them out, and he actually went to bed at 4 p.m., which he NEVER does.

* Texting Walker, who was at a show choir contest in Sioux City. Remind me to tell you some stories about Sioux City.

* Overseeing Quincy and Kaleb, his bestest buddy, who was spending the second night here. They need occasional food and attention, but for the most part they play nicely together.

* Making videos on my Cyberlink Youcam, with special effects and posting them on myspace and this here blog.

But I am not working.

Silly Hat and Scarf Day

Mom from hell...

Testing 1..2..3..




Vlog #1: Hope this works, because I've been having many technical difficulties. It's hard to be on the cutting edge...but in the meantime of waiting for this video to upload, I have been making video comments on all my friends' Facebook accounts. In my favorite, which is on Walker's account, I belch "Barack" really well, and predict that he will, therefore, be our next President.

I'm sure there will be more vlogs over break, for I have only just begun.

Spring Break Vlog #1

Testing, one....two.....

Video Conferencing

I'm online right now with school.

Here's a picture to prove it. I am officially insane. I have a sick day off, and what do I do? Get on Skype with my webcam...and help kids at school. They have a perfectly good sub (today -- yesterday's was another story) who is getting paid to be there.

Oh well, I can't puke and poop comfortably at school, so it's a good thing I stayed home. I am going to hang out with yearbook class in a minute here, because I love Rachel and Connor, who is no longer inept, by the way. Then, I plan to take a nap to get rid of this headache, then I will check the most ginormous pile of papers that ever existed. Oh yeah, I got a plan.

But first, I got this web cam I gotta play with...and I have officially declared myself a geek now. This is icing on the cake. I've known for awhile now that hanging out with all these techno-heads at school would rub off, but this is truly amazing. How am I gonna put this in my book? Nope, vlogs don't translate well to print.

Where is Princess Leia and her hologram technology when you need it?

Elvis

I'm home sick. My cat, Elvis, gives me a lovin' to make me feel better:

I


Vlog testing, 1...2...3.

Houston, do you read?

The Lost Hour

Daylight savings time sucks if you live in the Midwest. You lose an entire hour of your life, an hour that you can never get back; an hour you could have been creating something, making love or otherwise generally enjoying life. You wake up to it being dark and you being tired and generally cranky about it. It's not so bad in the Fall, when you gain an hour, but in the Spring it just blows.

I'm looking at life with my cup half empty, I realize, but sometimes you just gotta.

But my son cracks me up. I'm going to try something new in my blog: adding videos. If this works, I might occasionally post a vlog.




If you watch this, it's 49 seconds of your life you can never get back, as Cameron so eloquently stated...

Happy Sunday morning....

Oh, and I'm ready to kick ass in yearbook every day now...I'm gonna be a task master, and every damn person in that room better get busy every minute of every day. No more iPod and youtube festivals on my time. DAMMIT. I get mad when I think about it. Next year will be different. (That's what I say every year, for the record.)

And here's a picture of me and Quincy and Tyler that is pretty cool, too: doubles as evidence that the days have been too long and the sunlight has been too short and the snow has been too deep.

Maybe I didn't need that hour anyway. Daylight, here we come...