April 28: Two Days till D-Month

May seems to be my month. I gotta get it all done during May. Then I lose Woodser. Jared will be around this summer for sure, and probably off and on during the year. Pi says he will be around, but his mother didn't seem too confident he'd be able to as much as he says. I will be on my own, with limited support, that's for sure.

So, I have two days to prepare myself for the whirlwind that is May in public education, and specifically in a publications classroom. We gotta get many pages DONE in yearbook, and I gotta secure my summer talent to work on the remaining pages. I also have to redesign the newspaper and figure out what's up for next year. I have a week-long graduate course in publications advising in June, and the entire yearbook has to be done in early July. Well, it doesn't HAVE to be done, but if I don't want my name to be "mud" I WILL GET IT DONE this year on time. It'd be nice to have it done in time to distribute at Homecoming.

Well, the progress update is gloomy. I didn't open the programs again, but I am learning some stuff slowly and surely. We did have an inexplicable glitch in the newspaper that caused some ads to run wrong, so that has us puzzled. I understand some stuff and other stuff I don't. This is problematic at best. When will I feel competent in this job?

Stay tuned.

The Real McCoy

I just read in the Sunday Des Moines Register that there's a reason I am how I am. The McCoy's have had a generational disease, apparently, that "causes high blood pressure, racing hearts, severe headaches, and too much adreneline and other "fight or flight" stress hormones. " This condition can inevitably lead to tumors of the adrenal gland. This has led to their notorious behavior in the Hatfield vs. McCoy clan feud.

Why is this significant? My grandparents' names are Kenny and Bessie McCoy. My mother's maiden name is therefore, McCoy, which makes me the real McCoy.

We've always explained our ornery behavior on the McCoy side of the family. Now there's medical proof. How insane and absolutely hilarious.

Mental Progress

I survived the wedding, fooling most of my relatives into thinking I can sing a little. So that was good for the ole' self esteem.

I also survived the flu, which had me thinking I was a total loser. But I'm back mentally and physically now, so that's good.

Finally, I think I understand what needs to be done to survive the talent drain I'm about to face. I can't do it yet, but I understand the scope of the problem. The boys and I are going to survive the awards banquet first, then we're going to train my future staff. All in the month of May.

OH SHIT. I just realized that the seniors' last day is in May. Which means they will be gone. No more Jared, Pi, or Woodser? GULP. I'm crying a little, seriously. Wow, those boys mean more to me than I realized. It's not just about the job; it's about the relationships we've formed.

Heavy.

Pregnant Sister's Wedding

I gotta sing in my sister's wedding today, and I 'm not looking forward to it. I'm glad she is getting married, but I'm not too confident in my singing abilities anymore, due to 23 years of trashing my lungs by smoking cigs. Oh well, it'll be over in 7 hours and 20 minutes.

She's knocked up; after only knowing the guy for 3 months, AND she's 39, so she knows better. It makes a good story. I'm happy for her; they seem happy, I just hope they can keep the communication channels open and not all clogged like they tend to get in relationships.

Back to the job: this week was another bust. I didn't even open up the programs to learn them. I did; however, update my curriculum map and organize senior pictures and the entire student body's names list. Argh, that's the shit I hate about my job.

The boys are playing in the lab on their free period, and not working much on the presentations, except for Jason who is helping me redesign the entire paper for next year. But I can't blame them, we're always burnt out by last period. Plus, I've been walking a mile during that time -- even pushed it to a mile-and-a-half. We gotta get busy. Er, I gotta get busy.

Notebooks for all

Well, I decided to get notebooks for all the kids to help me get organized. Plain, white, 2" binders, designed to help me get an insight into my future.

Rachel gets one to help with the Awards banquet. Jared gets one to help with the basics of design. Greg gets one for an intro to InDesign and tips and tricks. Pi gets one to help with the intro to Photoshop, even though he has created it as a totally online tutorial. What a brain THAT kid has. And LaRae got one, to keep track of all the advertising letters we've used this year.

OK. So this week was normal, but instead of trying to put myself into a winter coma on the couch, I decided to start walking a mile. I feel better than usual because of it, and I'm glad I made one healthy decision.

I didn't really learn anything new related to my programs, but I don't think I'm as destitute as I think I am. . .I know the basics. . .but I still couldn't desktop publish my way out of a paper bag.

So, I pass and I fail. I'd give the week a "C".

Learn.

Learn.

That's what Jared said I needed to do in order to be able to survive without him.

Easy for that little shit to say, now isn't it? He's as sharp as a tack, smarter than hell, brilliant beyond words, and wise as an old man. . .all wrapped up in an undersized skinny little 18-year-old body of average height.

OK. I'm not going to use my depression as an excuse any more. I'm going to learn. Dammit.

I hate it when I absorb so much from kids. . .especially when they make a one-word statement that rings so true. I love that boy.