Snow Day #5

It was one of those moments: We woke up at 5:30 a.m. and couldn't open our back door. We only got 3" of snow last night, but the wind is fierce. We turned on the TV news, and the ticker at the bottom was crazy busy with school cancellations. Unfortunately, my school only listed "buses hard surfaces" which is common in Iowa. So we made the coffee, fed the cats and began the morning routine.

The ticker is addictive. I signed up for email alerts when school is cancelled, and I get those pretty quickly after the District calls in. But every time we have a "weather event" I still stare at the ticker, especially in that early morning grogginess that was engulfing me.

My husband came into the room, and I was waiting for my school to appear on the ticker. It was nearing 6:00 a.m., and the TV weatherman had just announced that many schools were still calling in. Suddenly, my school popped up as "closed" and I screamed, "school's closed, school's closed." My hubby didn't believe me, and accused me of making it up...we had a good laugh over that. It was a fun moment: made even more fun by the fact that we had a day off!

But I still, even as I type this, am looking at that damn ticker. It's like I think they are going to change their mind or something. Of course, we have to make this day up, and will be going even closer to June. But I don't care, because being the yearbook adviser, I have to work all summer anyway.

I guess that's a shitty attitude, but what the hell: I have a snow day and the ticker don't lie.

New Egg

I ordered a new laptop yesterday from newegg.com. It's a hip technology site that several former student/geeks have recommended to us. I've decided to switch my life over to PC instead of Apple. This is a BIG DEAL, because I've been an Apple gal for many moons.

So here she is:

A brand new bouncing baby computer. I hope the deer photos come with it, too.

I plan to use this to further my business enterprises, so I can retire from this day job by age 50. I've decided that I'm only going to be hip for another 6 years, then I'll become stale and ineffective in the classroom because I'll be old and saggy. So, this is a capital expenditure...next step: form a limited liability corporation so I can write off all my expenses. So far, my profits total $25 ($22 in bumper stickers and $3 in a t-shirt) and I'm afraid to total my expenses, er "marketing" costs.

Can you give an old chicken a new egg? Stay tuned...

And I said "No No No."

Amy Winehouse might be my new heroine. I don't know a great deal about her, but I do know that I downloaded two songs of hers that totally rock, in a blues/funk kind of way. Her "Rehab" song is great musically, and the lyrics are mildly entertaining. I have to admit I was a bit disappointed with the story in the song, which is really non existent. Anyhoo.

She won 6 grammy's after doing a stint in rehab. What a story. Hope she doesn't self destruct like so many other stars do. Self destruction -- the story of my life.

I burn my candle at both ends, sort of. I have forced myself, over the years, to get 8 hours of sleep a night, but I would stay up until the wee hours of the morning if I could. I would abuse substances if I could. I would have wild sex all night long if I could. I would party like it's 1999 if I could. Fer sure.

But I can't. So I lead this life of a public school teacher instead. One who is responsible for the YEARBOOK: the most permanent artifact to be generated from the institution of THE AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL. It really is the most important job in the school, but I get no respect, as Rodney Dangerfield used to say. (Youtube him, you youngsters: he is mildly entertaining.)

Or rather, I give myself no respect. I need to switch up my attitude. I need to take no prisoners. I did, yesterday, send out a rather bold memo to the big whigs about the future technology needs of my program. (Yes, I did this on a Saturday.) I am planning to ask for clerical support to run my books for the two businesses: yearbook and newspaper.

Ah poop. It's only 7:30 on a Sunday morning.

They tried to make me forget about school, and I said, "No no no."

Teacher Shit

My district's current buzzwords and initiatives include: differentiation, visual literacy, professional learning communities (PLC), curriculum mapping, and teacher portfolios.

These all suck. I have seen them all before. I have "been around the block." I can't believe I am suddenly an aged professional, complete with holes like swiss cheese.

It's true, what the old timers used to tell me: if you ignore enough state and district unfunded mandates, they will come around again with another name and a new "book" and "Ph.D" behind them. So, what did these used to be called? Differentiation has always been here, it's child-centered learning or standards-based education (or, gasp, what we called "Outcomes based education" in the 80's, before it got reamed by the conservative "right.")

It's not that I don't agree with the philosophical underpinnings of such initiatives: I do. I believe that each child should be in the center of his/her intended curriculum. Period. End of story.

So why does the state and federal government make things so fucking complicated? What the hell is happening when things like No Child Left Behind and its mandated testing focus become the law of the land?

I'm sorry Madeline Hunter. I know you are rolling around in your grave right now. Thumbs down.

Who will come to save the day?

Snow Day #4

Wow, somebody really fucked with Mother Nature this winter.

Not that I'm complaining. I just am wondering if we will have to go to school into June, when we started in the middle of August this year so we'd get out in mid-May. I guess I AM complaining.

Well, once again, I've managed to squeeze in a couple, five hours in social networking today. Go me. Bad or good, remains to be seen.

(I just pictured haunting music cuing up, with a picture of a murder scene....she should have never met the psycho killer in real life...)

OK. It's not like that. I only network with people I know. Mostly teens. A couple adults, but all are fine, upstanding citizens.

So, could I have written my best selling novel on this snow day? Maybe. But, maybe this blog could be my best selling novel...wouldn't that be a gas...the product of over 300 days of sitting on my ass and waxing philosophic.

You can't blame a girl for dreaming on a snow day, now can you?

Ahhhhhh, nothing like a dream of residual income...so I can continue the lifestyle to which I've grown accustomed.

The Sopranos and John Wayne Gacy

My husband is obsessed with the mob and conspiracy theories. I have to report this publicly, because this is the soundtrack that is always playing behind my blogs. You know, the music of the Sopranos and the drone of the theorists behind JFK and 911 on youtube.com. Do you think my psyche is being affected because of this? How many whackings does one witness before one is officially desensitized?

So now I'm thinking about how our lives have changed because of the Internet. It's like how the old timers I grew up under used to complain about how our lives had changed because of television. I seriously remember a time with no Internet. I completed a bachelors degree without it. I had a child without it. Now I have serious withdrawal any time I don't have access. I've been known to access it on my phone before just because I could. Serious shit.

And I'm thinking about how the job of teacher and journalism adviser has changed. I still have proportion wheels and infoscroppers and line tape and razor blades around to show students, but they are pressuring me to get rid of the expensive dark room. I love dark room: the smells, the sounds, the whole ambiance is relaxing -- something I have heretofor mentioned as one of my weaknesses. I know I could go all digital, but some things are around just for the nostalgia of it all...like the mob and conspiracy theories, I guess.

When You Walk Through a Storm

First, we are literally in the middle of a blizzard/ice/snow/wind advisory. I plan on not walking through this storm, but staying safe inside the house. That is, unless the electricity goes out and we have to huddle around the unsafe gas oven. But, we have plenty of provisions, and could hunker down if needed. Last year, I think we missed 4 days of school because of an ice storm. You don't fuck with Mother Nature in Iowa.

Second, I am figuratively in the middle of a storm regarding yearbook. The culture of laziness has permeated my staff and I'm at a loss as to how to rectify the situation. Especially when I go into each day just hoping to make it through yearbook with nobody asking me a computer question I can't answer, and hoping that everybody gets busy. Gets busy on what? Some people have no pages currently in the hopper. There is always little tasks to be done, and I'm usually busy with those.....meanwhile, pages sit. I want more pages submitted, and we can't seem to get 'er done.

Anyway, part of it is this time of year: the winter sports are still going on and we don't have the group pictures back yet. I guess I have to have faith that people will get busy once they can; that the atmosphere will switch into a more productive one; and that I will not go stinking crazy in the mean time.

So, as Elvis is crooning this fine Sunday morning, when you walk through a storm, hold your head up high. Or have another cup of coffee and be thankful the snow is falling and there is no school today or tomorrow anyway.

A Decisive Moment

Sunday morning again...and I'm still ruminating on the whole "should I stay or should I go now" situation. I know the opening at the alternative school will be appearing soon, and I have to decide if I want to go there or stay right where I am...

...and I think I'm going to stay put. I have named editors for next year in both newspaper and yearbook, and they are both highly competent and can teach me a lot about those ubiquitous programs. This year is going well, and the leaders who I was worried about have risen to the occasion and are doing great. I think we might even get the damn yearbook done by July 4th...that's my official prediction -- we will have independence on our country's birthday, Rachel, my love.

I guess after 3 years, I finally feel like I know what I'm doing about 3/4 of the time. And I think that's the best I can hope for. I don't want to start all over with new curriculum to write, and I don't want to take home all the problems of the kids who attend the alternative school. My shrink said he'd kill me if I went back to the alternative school, and I think I better listen to him...we have been seeing each other for 12 years now...

Is that my decision, and am I sticking to it??? Hmmmmmmm, we'll see.

The Real McCoy, Part 2

Before you read this, know I intend it to be a happy story.

First, check out this picture:

Meet Bessie and Kenny McCoy, my maternal grandparents. They are the sweetest, most straight-laced couple on the planet. In this photo, they are celebrating grandpa's 89th birthday in Indianola. Grandma has Alzheimers, but you can see how much she loves her Kenny from the look in her eye and the gesture of her hand.

She loves babies as much as she loves Kenny, and once you are her baby, you are always her baby. When she sees me today, she hugs and kisses me up just like when I was 5 years old, and I love it. Everyone needs a 4'10" grandma bessie who walks with a limp from polio.

Don't pity them. They are strong, and they have survived and truly lived. All of their kids and grandkids are fucked up in one way or another, and I'm proud to be in that crew.

It's good to be the real McCoy.

Snow Day #3

I love the number 3. And I love snow days.

Wow, as I look at the clock, I realize I've been talking on the computer for five and a half hours...might be a new world record for me.

I've been talking to former and current students, online and on Facebook an MySpace. It's fun. It's addictive. I know.

But, I could be out at the bars...could always be worse, I guess.

And while I play, I work. I build new relationships, I nurture old ones...I dream about yearbook and newspaper, and we think of ideas and strategies and software and hardware ideas whilst online. It's all good. Except for the part where we talk about love and sex and such. But that's normal teenage stuff, and I was a sexuality educator as a profession. Is there a book here somewhere?

How can I light a fire under my own ass?

Super Bowl Sunday and a Stack of Papers

It's the same story year after year: I have a slew of papers to check and it's the Super Bowl. I don't actually care about the game at all, but I know it'll be on and I do like to catch some of the commercials.

I am legally WAY behind in checking papers and posting grades. Officially more than fashionably late. If I don't do them by Wed. or Thurs. when progress reports are due, I'll probably get a call from the Principal. So why don't I do them today, like right now?

Because it is Sunday morning, and I am not at work. I like to start my day with some coffee, a little Elvis gospel, and the newspaper. Toss in a dash of social networking and a husband who reads BushWatch.com, and you got yourself a party.

I love my life. That's why I don't want any interruptions.

So am I gonna relax or am I gonna work? Place your bets in the comments section.

22" is a whole new world

In the world of computer monitors, that is...

We got a new dell, dude, and it rocks big. Big hard drive, big processors, and big screen.

I've been hogging it big time.

Sorry hubby.

Ain't That a Kick in The Head?

Well I think jasmine, er, the junior, and I have made up. I was afraid to talk to her, cuz everyone told me she wasn't going to sign up next year. I thought we'd have fun with her as managing bitch, plus she could be a bit more lazy at deadline night, like she likes to do...she admitted she's been slacking.

Anyway, I stand by my original decision, but hate hurting them. I'm announcing Ali as editor in chief of the yearbook next week, and I hope nobody gets their undies in a bundie about it.

I've had enough drama.

And as Dean Martin says, ain't that a kick in the head? Or, in my case, I'd rather be kicked in the head.