Hemorrhoids

This sensitive subject deserves equally as sensitive treatment. This blog is dedicated to that special part of my ass that only appears occasionally, wreaking havoc whenever it begins to throb, yes, you know, it, my hemorrhoids.

Well, hemorrhoid actually. The one that first appeared during the birth of my first son. If I were to name it, I'd probably call it "Hal." I don't know why.

Anyway, Hal only appears now when I struggle with a particularly nasty bowel movement. I avoid doing this at all costs, however, because Hal is no fun.

Why is Hal significant? Because I love scattelogical humor. And today all I have to do is pack up for graduate school in Iowa City. This week-long class should be interesting and fun, and I can't seem to get off my ass (minus Hal) and pack. I'm too fat for any of my cute summer clothes, so I have to wear the old lady stuff. Oh well, I am looking more like an old lady than a co-ed, and the sooner I realize that the more fun I'll have playing my role.

I have all the things I didn't have back when I was a co-ed. I have a wonderful husband, doting kids, and a career that makes me feel good inside.

But dammit, I also have Hal. And therein lies the problem. I'm a 40-something professional who is one bowel movement push away from being practically incapacitated.

Oh well, shit happens.